Apathy strikes

I have always enjoyed analogies. Crafting different ways to explain the same things in different ways, touching different audiences along the way. I spent most of my adult life obtaining education to talk, when in actuality I was meant to shut my mouth and open my ears. It has been the journey of listening to others, making observations, collecting data, and deducing patterns from human behavior.

Today, I'm reflecting on a defense mechanism employed by many, apathy.  At times, I'll admit, I have lived with apathy. I see it as the intentional decision to not feel or think one way or another. I believe other people are rowing in the apathy boat with me. You could blame it on the state of affairs concerning society at this time. For some its the failure that has followed really investing in or caring for another person or cause. It can accompany something that has ultimately been too big to take on. A project with 37 steps that you lack the level of functioning to execute, therefore declaring....screw it.

Why is it so hard to crawl out of apathy? For some, it is the shear amount of energy required to formulate a stance on something, to be passionate about...anything at all. I have always admired people that get passionate about their causes. They pour into researching support for the hypothesis about the social constructs of sea cucumbers. They postulate that cross breeding animals will make them better pets and ignore the genetic crap storm they are creating by said cross bread. Oh, wait, I do have an opinion about that.

Is apathy dangerous? Perhaps. Is it the same as "picking your battles"? Sometimes. I think it depends on when and for how long you are deploying the defense mechanism. I do know from my observations about humans that it is pivotal in surviving a violent situation; an abusive childhood or abusive partner. So if you climb into the apathy boat from time to time, maybe you can relate to this. I know that mood regulation can have a hand in defending yourself through apathy. Maybe making a choice, or choosing a stance leaves you feeling absolutely panicked. You become gripped with fear about making the wrong choice.

Think of apathy as a chain. You take a stance. You receive feedback from it. Then make a choice on how you want to file away that feedback. You get to ultimately decide how it shapes you. SAY WHAT?? Yes, you can decide how to define information gained through feedback. This is really surprising for people. A tool that has benefited me in the process of defining that feedback is asking myself if there is a lesson embedded in it. If someone tells me,  "I think you are too sensitive and you need to get over yourself". I need to ask myself what was going on in the situation. Did it warrant the response I had? Or is feedback giver a jerk? I decide how to think and feel about the situation, or not to think about it at all. Because, apathy.


Comments

  1. Aly and FamilyMay 1, 2020 at 2:11 PM

    Interesting take on Apathy- I have always thought of it as negative- lack of emotion. To reframe it as defense mechanism (especially w/ abuse) is soo true

    ReplyDelete

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